Daydreams of Awesomness

So, in my last update I said that I would elaborate on just what it is that I spend more time than is healthy or acceptable daydreaming about. Nope, it’s not my ManChild Zac Efron, my daydreams about him may be inappropriate in many different ways, but it’s time well spent if you ask me! What I’m talking about is much more self destructive. I have what I refer to as ‘Facebook Envy’. I spend way more time than is appropriate trawling through FB, looking at ‘friends’ photos and status updates and envying their lives over my own boring, mundane, groundhog life. I especially like to torture myself by focusing on females my own age who are traveling, living overseas, have amazing careers, lead glamorous lives and have retained their youthful figures and sparkling eyes (which I’m guessing is helped by not having children and living a life of sleep deprivation).

This habit is extremely healthy. It really highlights my achievements, makes me thankful for the..... ah fuck it, who am I kidding, it’s painful and I do it because I’m masochistic & I enjoy torturing myself. I tell myself and them that I’m living vicariously through them when in reality I’m just plain envious and I’m stalking them. After a decent stalk session I’m left yearning for a life I could have had. If I’d just made a few different decisions I would now have an amazing Hollywood career, I would be a celebrated actress living a glamorous life and spending my days being fabulous. Or perhaps I would be travelling the world, having mind-blowing adventure after mind-blowing adventure and spending my days being fabulous. Then again I could have pursued that brilliant & fulfilling career and currently be at the top of my field, celebrated, world renowned and spending my days being fabulous. Sensing a theme here?? These alternative lives I speak of are not based in fact, I did not pass up any golden opportunities in the past that would lead me to believe that any of this is in fact possible it is simply the ramblings of a mid 30’s housewife who has come to realise just how quickly life passes by and just how much we can control our own destiny simply by striving for greatness, rather than spending your youth pissed as a maggot in random clubs and talking shit about all the things that you’re never going to do because you’re too busy waiting for life to come and get you rather than hunting it down & grabbing hold of it.

Of course in reality I know that what my objects of envy are posting on FB are the things they want me to see. I’m seeing a snapshot of their lives, I’m getting the ‘Best of’ reel. I do it myself. I don’t post photos of me looking like a sack of shit (hence not many photos!), I don’t post photos of my tiny, shitty little house, I don’t update about how many shitty nappies I’ve changed or how many fights I’ve broken up between the kids today, I post about sunshine and fucking butterflies. One might see my FB page and ascertain that I have three adorable children, a funny & hardworking husband and we do stuff and have fun and we shit glitter because we’re so fucking awesome and happy. Obviously if you took the time to read my blog you’d know the stone cold truth. And besides, it’s all relative. Someone who has that seemingly ‘amazing’ life still has to get up every day, they have to do what they do to make ends meet, they have to eat, clean, make beds, shower, shit – no matter what you’re chasing, when you find it and you stop chasing then that becomes your ‘every day’ and after a while any version of ‘every day’ gets old. So is the answer to keep chasing? What sort of life would that be? Always chasing something better, never satisfied with what you have, always sleeping with one eye open just so you don’t miss that next best thing.

So, through all my trawling, my FB envy, my vicarious living & my excessive daydreams I take something useful. I am adamant that my children will grow up knowing just how much power they have over their destiny. They will dare to dream and dream big and they will not squander their youth waiting for life to happen around them, they will become Life Hunters and seek it out daily. They will know the value of life & just how quickly it passes. But they will also know when to just stop and be present. That’s the key, to find the balance between moving forward and being present. If I can find that line & translate it into something tangible then I shall bottle it and make my squillions, and then spend my days being fabulous.

Lastly, here's a little eye candy to wrap things up....... mmmmm......